Two founders.
One laptop.
A data company for hedge funds. Nothing unusual.
Story
The version the cats tell
cashcats
Somebody
types the name.
There was no website on the memo. The name was all they had.
Cats.
Money.
Internet nonsense.
Not a company. Not a product. Not even close.
“A financial
company.”
The humans were very confident about this.
Funding
secured.
Somebody funded the cats. We are not sure why.
The cats
were watching.
They had been on the internet since 2011. They were early.
2026 — File reopened
“We have some unfinished business.”
— The Chairman, who has not previously commented.
Social
The file is open
Filing
What this is, and what it is not
Each line opens on click.
What CashCats LLC is
CashCats LLC is a meme. A build. An experiment. The alternate history on this page is invented: the board, the memorandum, the plan and every word attributed to a cat are fiction. The events under Exhibit A are not invented, and every one of them is linked under Sources below.
No Robinhood affiliation
This project has no relationship of any kind with Robinhood Markets, Inc. or with any company in its group. It is not operated, sponsored, endorsed, licensed, reviewed or approved by them. It does not use their logo, their wordmark or their brand colours, and no reference on this page to the company's history should be read as a claim of association with it. The history recounted under Exhibit A is drawn from public accounts by the people involved, linked under Sources, and is reproduced for the purpose of commentary. The story told under Story is fiction.
No CASHCAT affiliation
This project has no relationship with the token trading as CASHCAT on Robinhood Chain, with its deployer, or with anyone who holds, promotes or maintains it. It is not a fork of it, not a successor to it, not endorsed by it, and not endorsing it.
No endorsement, and no real person said any of this
People and firms are named on this page only under Exhibit A and only as participants in a documented sequence of events. Wesley Chan, Blake Byers, Vlad Tenev, GV and every other person or organisation named there have no involvement in this project, have not been asked to approve it, have not approved it, and receive nothing from it. The fiction on this page names no real person: the founders, the partners and the board are characters. No quotation attributed to a cat was said by anybody.
No utility
The token described under Mechanism does not entitle the holder to anything. There is no product behind it, no service, no revenue, no equity, no share of profits, no governance right and no claim on any asset. It is not a security, and it is not offered as one. Nothing is promised, and no future work is committed to. The phases under The cat's plan are a joke and describe nothing that will happen.
Risk and financial disclaimer
Nothing on this page is financial, investment, legal or tax advice, and nothing on it is a recommendation to buy, hold or sell anything. No return is offered, implied or possible to infer from it. The historical figure under Exhibit A describes a company this project has no connection to, and it says nothing whatsoever about the token under Mechanism. The burn described there depends on a token this project does not control: if that token stops trading, the fees stop and the burn stops with them. A full range liquidity position carries impermanent loss, and the position can be worth less than simply having held the two assets. Assets of this kind commonly go to zero. Anyone who buys one should be prepared for that outcome and should not commit money they cannot afford to lose.
Sources